Finding Myself in a Foreign Country

As a Filipino American raised most of my life in the Philippines, this study abroad program reminded me a lot of home. Perhaps it is because of the similarities in collectivist cultures in Asian countries, but I did not expect to feel as comfortable as I did. Collectivist culture is described as valuing community over the individual. It means maintaining group harmony is given more value. As opposed to the individualistic culture practiced in the US, where the individual is prioritized more than the collective group. It means valuing individuality and uniqueness. I grew up with the ideas of collectivist culture, imagine the culture shock I endured moving to the US and getting used to the individualistic culture. It felt refreshing being surrounded by people who had the same ideas of culture as me. However, that does not mean I forgot about my identity as a whole. If anything, this trip helped strengthen my cultural identity.

I moved to the United States 5 years ago, and I can honestly say I still struggle merging my identity as a Filipino and as an American. I feel that my migration was a bit abrupt, therefore making my assimilation with American culture a little harder. I struggled with relating to my peers, socializing with those not in my culture, and even knowing what the right thing to say in conversations was. It turned into an insecurity, and I created a bubble around me during my first few years in the US that prevented me from reaching out of my comfort zone. It didn't help that my first two years in college was spent online. I felt robbed of an opportunity to experience the college life that I always saw in American movies. It was only during my senior year at UWT when I finally started climbing out of my bubble. I started participating in more campus events, socializing with more people form different cultures, and getting involved and helping create a memorable campus experience by working as UWT Pack Advisor for students that felt the same way I did, applying to this program to learn more about people and culture. I feel grateful and proud of myself for deciding to step out of my bubble because it truly did help me find myself. I think traveling to a country whose culture is pretty similar to mine while being accompanied by friends and classmates who remind me of the culture in the US helped strengthen my perception of my own identity. I am not just Filipino, and I am not just American. It took some time, effort, a few identity crises, and a trip to South Korea, but I now understand that I am both. I really just needed an extra push. If I learned anything, it's that I want to make people feel the way I did during this trip; fulfilled, understood, enlightened, and seen. I learned things I knew I would not have if I stuck to my old college routines. I met and made friends with people I would not have known if it wasn't for this trip. I realized that other people were also in their own bubbles and were doing/experiencing the same things I did. I learned that I wasn't alone. My goal for this trip was to learn about South Korean culture and apply that to my future career as a psychologist. I didn't expect to learn about myself. But, maybe one day, I can do the same for others :)